When I married Matt, not only did I gain an amazing friend and spouse; I gained a new family. His family became mine, too, and his beautiful niece is a part of that package. She spends a lot of time with us and I adore the heck out of her. Maybe it's because the youth director in me relates really well with teenagers. Maybe it's because she is an amazing big cousin to my littles. Or maybe it's simply because she is an awesome girl. Yep- clearly, that is it.
Our beautiful Madison just turned 15 this week. When I think back to being 15, now that I am months away from double that, there are SO many things I wish I'd known. There are so many things that I wish I had taken to heart; so many things that if I'd been able to view my teenage years through the lens of my 30 year old self, I wouldn't have beaten myself up about or taken so seriously. In light of these thoughts churning through my head due to Madison's 15th birthday, I present to you a letter to my 15-year-old self.
Dear 15-year-old Alison,
Hi. This is you. Future you. What?! So creepy, right? That's ok. 15 years from now you'll think this is a great idea.
Here's the thing... the girl that you are now is only a tiny piece of the puzzle that God is constantly snapping together. Each day, a new piece is being added. You don't do many puzzles, and you never have, but if you were to pick up one of those 1000 piece monsters and really examine each piece, there is something to be learned in every image on every piece. Some pieces are really beautiful all on their own- colors, textures, and all things pleasing to the eye. Some aren't that exciting... plain, boring. Some may even be down right ugly... awkward angles. Unappealing colors. But they're necessary to make the whole puzzle complete. Every piece is important.
If you haven't picked up on it yet, that is a metaphor for your life. Each day, each moment, is an important piece of who you are now and who you will become. You're going to have some amazing times coming your way. You're going to get your heartbroken, too. And that's ok... that is what life is about. I could write a novel to you, but instead, I'm just going to give you this little list of things I want you to know. From almost 30-year-old you... trust me; I know a lot about you. And I've been there. No- literally, I have.
* Those tears you shed in the dressing rooms of Wet Seal and whatnot are so not worth it. You're beautiful just the way you are.
* You'll be so glad you decided you were ready to be baptized. It'll be the beginning of something really, really big.
* Mom is totally not overprotective! You are going to be doubly crazy over the safety of your kids one day!
* You get a husband and kids, so stop being so worried about your future. God's got this one under control.
* I'm proud of you for sticking to your guns and not getting sucked into drugs or alcohol. You're going to make some really good decisions when it comes to friendships in the years to come and they'll be the ones you keep forever.
* Don't be mean to that girl during your junior year. You're going to really, really regret it later.
* Look at your computer and giggle... in a few years you'll have a phone thats way cooler than that. Weird, right?
* 30 isn't old.
* Be confident in who you are... turns out, you're a pretty cool kid.
* Don't wear the leopard print cowboy hat to senior prom. Just.don't.do.it.
* That said, don't stress so much about your clothes. You're never going to be fashionable, but that isn't why the people who stick with you are around anyway. The friends that will stand outside the door the night you deliver your first baby couldn't care less about that stuff. They love you for you.
* Write stuff down... 30 year old you forgot stuff! That's why I'm writing stuff down now... so that 60 year old us can look back and laugh at 30 year old us.
* Stop sassing your grandpa. Kiss him every day and tell him you love him. You cannot possibly grasp how much he has loved you and done for you {and will do for you}. In 15 years, you'll be sitting at his bedside, watching him prepare to leave this world, crying your heart out and wishing you'd never taken a tone with him. You'll have some scares along the way, but none of them will have hurt the way this one will.
* You're not going to "get" the extent of Mom and Grandpa's love until you see Kathryn's face. Who's Kathryn? Oh, you'll see.
* The man you marry will teach you a lot about yourself... and those lessons will be what prompt you to write imaginary letters to a younger version of you.
* Don't worry- you're not crazy. You've got it pretty together, in fact.
* In light of that, enjoy this time in your life... despite how it feels right now, it's just an instant in your life. A tiny, tiny piece of that puzzle I was talking about. You were talking about...? We were talking about...? This is getting confusing.
All that said, enjoy every moment. Every memory. Don't worry so much. Have faith in yourself and dive head first into God and the community of his followers. Your puzzle is going to be breath-taking when it is done... so live with JOY!
Love,
29-year-old you.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Life Lessons: You learn something new everyday.
"I don't think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday." ~Abraham Lincoln
True that, Abe. Wise words.
I love overhearing conversations between Kate and her daddy. These conversations can cover a myriad of topics, anywhere from boxing to the intricacies of fishing (I dare you to ask Kate what you have to do to have fish available for dinner) to who knows what else. The other day their conversation came around to learning and the good ol' "you learn something new everyday" got thrown out there. He asked her what she had learned that day... after some hmms and umms, she told him all about the things she'd done at school. Then she did something that I absolutely loved- she turned the tables and asked him what he had learned that day.
It got my mind spinning! What about me? If she'd asked me, what would I have said? I do, truly, believe that we should all be learning something new and growing everyday... but if we're not consciously looking for it, we may just be missing the multitude of lessons presented to us each day.
One example, albeit, a silly one: I learned why baby soap bottles say Keep Out of Reach of Children. No, no one in our house downed a bottle of Aveeno. But Kate did decide to dump the entire bottle into the empty bathtub. When bathtime rolled around, I still did not know this (she is so sneaky) and was very surprised when the tub started to fill with mass amounts of bubbles. That's when she fessed up. Crazy girl. So, super fun bubble bath time ensued. It was, of course, a photo moment but this is the internet and there are creepers around every corner... so I'll keep those just for us.
We learned too, that a crib is no match for a toddler. While Kate never dared to scale the sides of her crib, her brother took to the challenge like a champ. Nothing like sitting peacefully, knowing your son is happily stowed in the safety of hiscage bed, only to hear a loud thud followed by the thunderous 'pitter-patter' of chubby feet. Sigh. Now what?!
I learned, too, that my sweet Kate is as emotionally delicate as her mommy. Now that Kennedy is 6-weeks old, the older two have figured out that this baby, is in fact, here to stay. Kate is now finding herself getting less attention than she was used to, which has led us to such tear-inducing statements as, "You love Kennedy more than you love me," and "Mommy, you always hold the baby sister. You never hold me or Will." Guess they haven't hit that topic of avoiding "always" and "never" in pre-school, huh? I kid. But honestly, these little statements shattered me. Have I been ignoring her? I didn't think so... Have I left her feeling less than the amazing, smart, funny, beautiful girl that she is? What have I done!?
Her words have not fallen on deaf ears- I am trying so hard to dedicate my baby-free-arm time to making her feel as special and important as she truly is.
Truth is, it's really hard to spread yourself between three little people who all require your attention every moment of every day. It is chaos in our home, but a good chaos. A busy, fun, chaotic place.
Here a few other random lessons learned:
* Kids grow fast: just when you think something is out of reach... it's not.
* If you lay a 6-week old on a surface that you don't want them to spit up/ poop on, then they will spit up AND poop on it.
* The train at Disneyland is an ideal place to nurse a baby when you have two other kids who won't stay still if you try to sit somewhere quiet.
* No matter how much pink you put on your baby, old people will still call her "he".
Before I forget, as promised, here is a little recap of Easter 2012...
Kennedy had her one week birthday on Easter day. We didn't try to brave the crowds at church, since she was still so little, so we enjoyed our morning at home with some bunny pancakes and hunting for eggs.
Our first picture as a family of five!
Anyway. That is that. And I leave you with this {predictable} question...
...what did you learn today?
True that, Abe. Wise words.
I love overhearing conversations between Kate and her daddy. These conversations can cover a myriad of topics, anywhere from boxing to the intricacies of fishing (I dare you to ask Kate what you have to do to have fish available for dinner) to who knows what else. The other day their conversation came around to learning and the good ol' "you learn something new everyday" got thrown out there. He asked her what she had learned that day... after some hmms and umms, she told him all about the things she'd done at school. Then she did something that I absolutely loved- she turned the tables and asked him what he had learned that day.
It got my mind spinning! What about me? If she'd asked me, what would I have said? I do, truly, believe that we should all be learning something new and growing everyday... but if we're not consciously looking for it, we may just be missing the multitude of lessons presented to us each day.
One example, albeit, a silly one: I learned why baby soap bottles say Keep Out of Reach of Children. No, no one in our house downed a bottle of Aveeno. But Kate did decide to dump the entire bottle into the empty bathtub. When bathtime rolled around, I still did not know this (she is so sneaky) and was very surprised when the tub started to fill with mass amounts of bubbles. That's when she fessed up. Crazy girl. So, super fun bubble bath time ensued. It was, of course, a photo moment but this is the internet and there are creepers around every corner... so I'll keep those just for us.
We learned too, that a crib is no match for a toddler. While Kate never dared to scale the sides of her crib, her brother took to the challenge like a champ. Nothing like sitting peacefully, knowing your son is happily stowed in the safety of his
I learned, too, that my sweet Kate is as emotionally delicate as her mommy. Now that Kennedy is 6-weeks old, the older two have figured out that this baby, is in fact, here to stay. Kate is now finding herself getting less attention than she was used to, which has led us to such tear-inducing statements as, "You love Kennedy more than you love me," and "Mommy, you always hold the baby sister. You never hold me or Will." Guess they haven't hit that topic of avoiding "always" and "never" in pre-school, huh? I kid. But honestly, these little statements shattered me. Have I been ignoring her? I didn't think so... Have I left her feeling less than the amazing, smart, funny, beautiful girl that she is? What have I done!?
Her words have not fallen on deaf ears- I am trying so hard to dedicate my baby-free-arm time to making her feel as special and important as she truly is.
Truth is, it's really hard to spread yourself between three little people who all require your attention every moment of every day. It is chaos in our home, but a good chaos. A busy, fun, chaotic place.
Here a few other random lessons learned:
* Kids grow fast: just when you think something is out of reach... it's not.
* If you lay a 6-week old on a surface that you don't want them to spit up/ poop on, then they will spit up AND poop on it.
* The train at Disneyland is an ideal place to nurse a baby when you have two other kids who won't stay still if you try to sit somewhere quiet.
* No matter how much pink you put on your baby, old people will still call her "he".
Before I forget, as promised, here is a little recap of Easter 2012...
Kennedy had her one week birthday on Easter day. We didn't try to brave the crowds at church, since she was still so little, so we enjoyed our morning at home with some bunny pancakes and hunting for eggs.
Anyway. That is that. And I leave you with this {predictable} question...
...what did you learn today?
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Joy in this place.
“Laughter is the sound of the soul dancing. My soul probably looks like Fred Astaire.” - Jarod Kintz
Color me cheesy- I was searching for a quote about laughter for our little coffee table memory book, and stumbled on this one. And.I.love.it. As a family who enjoys an evening dance party before bedtime, this just spoke perfectly to what our home is like! Though I am partial to Gene Kelly over Fred Astaire... just a personal preference. I mean, have you seen Singin' in the Rain, my favorite movie of all time? But I digress...
I, like any wife and mom, think that the people in my home have the best laughs ever. When Matt gets to laughing, it is completely impossible for me not to laugh. Even if I don't want to laugh; even if I should be mad... if he is laughing his real deal laugh then I'm done. I cannot not laugh, too. It's kind of the same situation when the littles laugh. There are times when I really should keep a straight face to make a point to my kids... but they're so darn funny! Here's a good example for you. With all of the kids, I take a photo of them starting at one month old, each month, with the same stuffed animal to show their growth until their first birthday. So for Kennedy's first month pic, I got her all situated on the couch with her kitty Bla-Bla doll and had Will at my side to grab some quick snaps. Kate and Matt had gone to the baseball game, so it was just the little kids and I.
Adorable, right? Of course. As I'm behind my camera, snapping away (because you always have to take about 23 shots to ensure you have the right one...), I notice a blaring red irregularity on my dining room table.
Trouble maker, indeed. I've never seen him climb on the dining room table, so that was a fun first. I suppose at this point, a good mommy would calmly, but swiftly get up and move toward their son, who may be in peril. This mommy's reaction? Laugh, then capture memory in a photo. Then hustle over to the table to retrieve trouble-maker son. This is just reality in our house. Fortunately, he was very intrigued by my lens cap and wasn't squirrling around up there. Unfortunately, he now knows how to get back up there to get at the things he is interested in. Ah well.
If you could hear the sound of my childrens' laughs, I'm fairly confident that you'd agree: they have the best laughs ever. When Kate really gets going, it brings me to tears of laughter... she has this super genuine belly laugh that exudes joy. Not just happiness: joy. Will, though he is not quite two, has a very boyish laugh. It's raspy and hearty... and I cannot help but think that maybe he'll be one of those guys whose laughter is so sincere that he actually slaps his knee or, Lord help me, bangs his fist on the table in a fit of laughter, just like my great Uncle Lou used to do (which used to embarrass me greatly, but I have grown to admire for some strange reason). Obviously, I cannot wait to hear Kennedy's sweet laugh in the months to come... easily one of my favorite milestones in the first year!
While I am enjoying this little blog update, there is another lovely sound coming from upstairs- that mellow, little newborn cry. Well, heading toward not-so-mellow actually. I realized I never posted about Easter... so I'll add those next when the children are nestled all snug in their beds. Someday.
Color me cheesy- I was searching for a quote about laughter for our little coffee table memory book, and stumbled on this one. And.I.love.it. As a family who enjoys an evening dance party before bedtime, this just spoke perfectly to what our home is like! Though I am partial to Gene Kelly over Fred Astaire... just a personal preference. I mean, have you seen Singin' in the Rain, my favorite movie of all time? But I digress...
I, like any wife and mom, think that the people in my home have the best laughs ever. When Matt gets to laughing, it is completely impossible for me not to laugh. Even if I don't want to laugh; even if I should be mad... if he is laughing his real deal laugh then I'm done. I cannot not laugh, too. It's kind of the same situation when the littles laugh. There are times when I really should keep a straight face to make a point to my kids... but they're so darn funny! Here's a good example for you. With all of the kids, I take a photo of them starting at one month old, each month, with the same stuffed animal to show their growth until their first birthday. So for Kennedy's first month pic, I got her all situated on the couch with her kitty Bla-Bla doll and had Will at my side to grab some quick snaps. Kate and Matt had gone to the baseball game, so it was just the little kids and I.
Adorable, right? Of course. As I'm behind my camera, snapping away (because you always have to take about 23 shots to ensure you have the right one...), I notice a blaring red irregularity on my dining room table.
Trouble maker, indeed. I've never seen him climb on the dining room table, so that was a fun first. I suppose at this point, a good mommy would calmly, but swiftly get up and move toward their son, who may be in peril. This mommy's reaction? Laugh, then capture memory in a photo. Then hustle over to the table to retrieve trouble-maker son. This is just reality in our house. Fortunately, he was very intrigued by my lens cap and wasn't squirrling around up there. Unfortunately, he now knows how to get back up there to get at the things he is interested in. Ah well.
If you could hear the sound of my childrens' laughs, I'm fairly confident that you'd agree: they have the best laughs ever. When Kate really gets going, it brings me to tears of laughter... she has this super genuine belly laugh that exudes joy. Not just happiness: joy. Will, though he is not quite two, has a very boyish laugh. It's raspy and hearty... and I cannot help but think that maybe he'll be one of those guys whose laughter is so sincere that he actually slaps his knee or, Lord help me, bangs his fist on the table in a fit of laughter, just like my great Uncle Lou used to do (which used to embarrass me greatly, but I have grown to admire for some strange reason). Obviously, I cannot wait to hear Kennedy's sweet laugh in the months to come... easily one of my favorite milestones in the first year!
While I am enjoying this little blog update, there is another lovely sound coming from upstairs- that mellow, little newborn cry. Well, heading toward not-so-mellow actually. I realized I never posted about Easter... so I'll add those next when the children are nestled all snug in their beds. Someday.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Monthly moments and memories: April.
At a point with Kate, I remembered to write down a list of tiny little things that I want to remember forever at a certain point in her life. Things that seem so fleeting. It's probably something I should do at least monthly, so here goes with a few moments and memories from the last month:
- Will's 4pm meltdowns... exhausting, yes, but slightly hilarious? Definitely.
- The little "surprised" face Kennedy makes; funny every time.
- How quiet newborn cries are.
- How not quiet toddler cries are.
- The smell of Pampers Swaddlers (clean ones, thank you very much).
- Kate wrapping her hair around her hand and singing the healing song from Tangled.
- Dress up.
- Kennedy trying to latch on to Will's cheek mid hug and leaving a red mark (Will's first hickey?)
- Will's chubby feet.
- Kate learning to read so many words!
- Hearing Kate's favorite and least favorite moments from her day.
That last one is something I've started with her. Every night we read a book before bed, then I ask her to tell me her favorite thing from the day, then her least favorite thing. I recently read an article about listening to your kids and really focusing on what they say, then responding to them in a way that they know you're listening. The article really resonated with me- if they know, from a very young age, that mommy and daddy really listen, that builds up a knowledge that they can be heard and can count on their parents to listen when they need someone to talk to. And I really love hearing her answers! More often than not, her "favorite thing" is something ridiculously sweet, like "spending time with my family" or "right now talking with you". Are you kidding me!? Melt.my.heart. Her least favorite thing rarely gets an answer... she usually says something to the effect of "Nothing... I had a good day." This makes me happy as a mommy for two reasons: 1) the times that I have to put her in time out or run out of patience don't seem to be scarring her for life and 2) my girl is very content with what she has. I know every parent believes that their child will do big things, but I'm so confident that Kate has such a caring, sweet spirit, and an outgoing personality... she is going to be a big deal. Just saying.
- Will's 4pm meltdowns... exhausting, yes, but slightly hilarious? Definitely.
- The little "surprised" face Kennedy makes; funny every time.
- How not quiet toddler cries are.
- The smell of Pampers Swaddlers (clean ones, thank you very much).
- Kate wrapping her hair around her hand and singing the healing song from Tangled.
- Dress up.
- Kennedy trying to latch on to Will's cheek mid hug and leaving a red mark (Will's first hickey?)
- Will's chubby feet.
- Kate learning to read so many words!
- Hearing Kate's favorite and least favorite moments from her day.
That last one is something I've started with her. Every night we read a book before bed, then I ask her to tell me her favorite thing from the day, then her least favorite thing. I recently read an article about listening to your kids and really focusing on what they say, then responding to them in a way that they know you're listening. The article really resonated with me- if they know, from a very young age, that mommy and daddy really listen, that builds up a knowledge that they can be heard and can count on their parents to listen when they need someone to talk to. And I really love hearing her answers! More often than not, her "favorite thing" is something ridiculously sweet, like "spending time with my family" or "right now talking with you". Are you kidding me!? Melt.my.heart. Her least favorite thing rarely gets an answer... she usually says something to the effect of "Nothing... I had a good day." This makes me happy as a mommy for two reasons: 1) the times that I have to put her in time out or run out of patience don't seem to be scarring her for life and 2) my girl is very content with what she has. I know every parent believes that their child will do big things, but I'm so confident that Kate has such a caring, sweet spirit, and an outgoing personality... she is going to be a big deal. Just saying.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
The Grand Finale: Welcome to the World, Baby Girl!
In the final weeks of pregnancy, every little twinge feels like it *could* be the start of something big! You just never know. At least, that is what people said when I was almost a week overdue with Katie. With Will, I had a scheduled induction the day before his due date, so the waiting was a little less stressful. This time around, the wait was kind of fun! It was our first time having a baby with Kaiser health care, and Kaiser will not even talk induction until you've passed your due date. So with an appointment set for April 5th, we knew we wouldn't be picking a birthdate until after that. Would we make it to the 5th? Would she come on her own? We just didn't know! Matt's poor parent's dealt with the stress, too, as they were the ones on call to come stay with Kate and Will when the time came. In all honesty, I expected to wait. I figured we'd get to our appointment on the 5th. Beyond Braxton Hicks contractions, I wasn't really feeling any indication that I'd go into labor any time soon. On March 31st, we spent some time at Matt's parents' house then went out for dinner. When we left the restaurant, we joked that maybe they'd get a call that night. I wasn't serious.
I'd gone to bed around 11pm that night. It was April 1st at 1:50am on our clock when I woke up to what I thought might be a contraction. It was what woke me up, so I wasn't entirely sure if I'd really had a contraction or what... I was still sleepy and unsure, so I just lay there waiting to see if another one would come. And sure enough, I felt that familiar crampy feeling. While it'd been a while since the last time I'd had contractions (about 20 months as a matter of fact), I remembered the feeling instantly. Yep- those are contractions! Not that contractions necessarily always mean that delivery is immanent, but still, it was promising. So I laid around for a while... I got up and walked around... I went downstairs and grabbed a glass of water. But still, they came about every 5 minutes, at about 1 minute in length each time. I decided to wake Matt up and let him know that the business was beginning. I called Kaiser and told them the news- 5 minutes apart, 1 minute in length, 3rd baby. Told her which location we would be delivering at and that was that- she said come on in. Matt called his parents and I hopped in the shower for one final clean up before go time.
If there is anything I have learned about having a baby, it is this: expect the unexpected. I got out of the shower, ready to throw my things in my bag and head to Irvine. Matt; however, had just received a call from Kaiser telling us that Irvine was full. Full?! Yes, full. We'd have to go to Anaheim Hills to have the baby. Now, it probably doesn't seem like a huge deal- but at 2:30am, when you're in labor and you've been expecting to deliver your baby at the hospital that you've been used to for the last 8 months- trust me, it becomes a big deal. Not to Matt... just to me. I was pissed! Oh yeah, and the exit off the freeway is closed, so we'll have to go the back way. Well, super. Matt's parents arrived and we headed up to Anaheim. It felt so far away- especially as we drove right past the Irvine location where we should have been!!! I was bitter. Then the bumpy roads and stop signs we encountered on the "back way"... strike two.
We got to L&D triage and the nurses were nice. Sooo nice! I finally started to relax about the location change at this point. I got all hooked up to the monitors and the waiting began.
A midwife came in and told me that by total coincidence my midwife Dena, who had been seeing me through my entire pregnancy, was going to be at the Anaheim location that day! That sealed the deal for me and I was officially over myself and perfectly happy being where I was. I was 5cm dilated and moving along just fine, so I was officially admitted at that point and a little while later was moved over to our delivery room. Being GBS positive, I had to have a penicillin dose every 4 hours through the IV, so they started that, started the saline and then the waiting continued. The contractions began slowing down, so eventually my midwife, Dena, came in and said she'd recommend starting pitocin to get things moving along. Before doing that, we went ahead and got the epidural process started so that *just in case* the pitocin kicked in quickly, I'd be ready! I got my epi around 10:45am... that part is always yucky to me. Even though I firmly believe that epidurals are a gift straight from God, I just hate the feeling of it being put in. Nonetheless, it was pretty easy and I could feel the tingly toes start pretty quickly- hooray!
Shortly after the epidural, the pitocin was started and contractions started picking up again. Matt stepped out to get my mom and at that point I felt my water break. Matt and my mom were back by the time the nurse came to check on me (I'd called her when I felt the water break). The nurse who came was not my regular nurse (she'd gone to lunch) and said, "Eh, maybe your water broke..." but didn't seem to believe me. I've felt that feeling twice before in my life- it's fairly unmistakeable.
My mom and I were just sitting there chatting away when suddenly I was feeling some pretty intense pain with each contraction. It honestly happened so fast. I went from shooting the breeze with my mom to having to stop and concentrate on breathing through the pain. I pushed the happy button for the epi meds, but it wasn't really providing relief anymore. I thought to myself, "Oh crap, this is going to suck." We got the nurse in and she thought I might be getting close, but thought she'd wait and let the midwives get in there and check me. Before they could get there, I was feeling a ton of pressure, which apparently told her that things were moving along. We hustled my mom out to the waiting room at that point. She checked me and I was 10cm and ready to get the party started. Dena, my midwife, and a new midwife arrived just in time to turn on those weird lights they use, slip on shoe covers (this made me laugh at that point) and get in position.
The pushing was easy peasy. One push to move her down. Second push and her head was out. Third push and our sweet Kennedy Eloise came screaming into the world at 2:25pm. She wasted no time letting us know how she felt about this traumatic event... girl has a set of lungs! She was so completely perfect! Her tiny nose, her long fingers and toes... precious! They laid her on my chest and I swear, all was right with the world. I just wanted to keep her there forever. She was SO small! Dena (our oh-so-amazing midwife) took a guess and said she thought she'd be 6.5 pounds, tops. The scale, though read 3.43 kilos which comes to 7 pounds, 9 ounces... wow! I'm still questioning that one! She was 20 inches long... long and lean.
This was the easiest delivery ever! It was so quick, and once the crazy part was over and she was out, I had no pain. None! She nursed perfectly right off the bat. She let us rest pretty well that first day, as most new, sleepy babies do. It was great! We went home 24 hours later, with our sweet Kennedy, and I couldn't wait for Kate and Will to meet her! I missed them so much while I was in the hospital! They came home from Grandma and Grandpa's and met their baby sister... it was so sweet!
Life with three is going great. I think I had myself prepared for the worst... visions of three screaming children and me in a corner crying haunted my daydreams. But I can only explain the last month as feeling just the way it is supposed to be. In the short time we've had Kennedy here, it feels like she has always been ours. I cannot imagine life without her now! We are so very blessed.
I've been quite the iPhoneographer these days, as getting my camera out hasn't been top priority, but capturing photos has still been very important... here are just a few sweet memories from the first few weeks of Kennedy's life...
I'd gone to bed around 11pm that night. It was April 1st at 1:50am on our clock when I woke up to what I thought might be a contraction. It was what woke me up, so I wasn't entirely sure if I'd really had a contraction or what... I was still sleepy and unsure, so I just lay there waiting to see if another one would come. And sure enough, I felt that familiar crampy feeling. While it'd been a while since the last time I'd had contractions (about 20 months as a matter of fact), I remembered the feeling instantly. Yep- those are contractions! Not that contractions necessarily always mean that delivery is immanent, but still, it was promising. So I laid around for a while... I got up and walked around... I went downstairs and grabbed a glass of water. But still, they came about every 5 minutes, at about 1 minute in length each time. I decided to wake Matt up and let him know that the business was beginning. I called Kaiser and told them the news- 5 minutes apart, 1 minute in length, 3rd baby. Told her which location we would be delivering at and that was that- she said come on in. Matt called his parents and I hopped in the shower for one final clean up before go time.
If there is anything I have learned about having a baby, it is this: expect the unexpected. I got out of the shower, ready to throw my things in my bag and head to Irvine. Matt; however, had just received a call from Kaiser telling us that Irvine was full. Full?! Yes, full. We'd have to go to Anaheim Hills to have the baby. Now, it probably doesn't seem like a huge deal- but at 2:30am, when you're in labor and you've been expecting to deliver your baby at the hospital that you've been used to for the last 8 months- trust me, it becomes a big deal. Not to Matt... just to me. I was pissed! Oh yeah, and the exit off the freeway is closed, so we'll have to go the back way. Well, super. Matt's parents arrived and we headed up to Anaheim. It felt so far away- especially as we drove right past the Irvine location where we should have been!!! I was bitter. Then the bumpy roads and stop signs we encountered on the "back way"... strike two.
We got to L&D triage and the nurses were nice. Sooo nice! I finally started to relax about the location change at this point. I got all hooked up to the monitors and the waiting began.
A midwife came in and told me that by total coincidence my midwife Dena, who had been seeing me through my entire pregnancy, was going to be at the Anaheim location that day! That sealed the deal for me and I was officially over myself and perfectly happy being where I was. I was 5cm dilated and moving along just fine, so I was officially admitted at that point and a little while later was moved over to our delivery room. Being GBS positive, I had to have a penicillin dose every 4 hours through the IV, so they started that, started the saline and then the waiting continued. The contractions began slowing down, so eventually my midwife, Dena, came in and said she'd recommend starting pitocin to get things moving along. Before doing that, we went ahead and got the epidural process started so that *just in case* the pitocin kicked in quickly, I'd be ready! I got my epi around 10:45am... that part is always yucky to me. Even though I firmly believe that epidurals are a gift straight from God, I just hate the feeling of it being put in. Nonetheless, it was pretty easy and I could feel the tingly toes start pretty quickly- hooray!
Shortly after the epidural, the pitocin was started and contractions started picking up again. Matt stepped out to get my mom and at that point I felt my water break. Matt and my mom were back by the time the nurse came to check on me (I'd called her when I felt the water break). The nurse who came was not my regular nurse (she'd gone to lunch) and said, "Eh, maybe your water broke..." but didn't seem to believe me. I've felt that feeling twice before in my life- it's fairly unmistakeable.
My mom and I were just sitting there chatting away when suddenly I was feeling some pretty intense pain with each contraction. It honestly happened so fast. I went from shooting the breeze with my mom to having to stop and concentrate on breathing through the pain. I pushed the happy button for the epi meds, but it wasn't really providing relief anymore. I thought to myself, "Oh crap, this is going to suck." We got the nurse in and she thought I might be getting close, but thought she'd wait and let the midwives get in there and check me. Before they could get there, I was feeling a ton of pressure, which apparently told her that things were moving along. We hustled my mom out to the waiting room at that point. She checked me and I was 10cm and ready to get the party started. Dena, my midwife, and a new midwife arrived just in time to turn on those weird lights they use, slip on shoe covers (this made me laugh at that point) and get in position.
The pushing was easy peasy. One push to move her down. Second push and her head was out. Third push and our sweet Kennedy Eloise came screaming into the world at 2:25pm. She wasted no time letting us know how she felt about this traumatic event... girl has a set of lungs! She was so completely perfect! Her tiny nose, her long fingers and toes... precious! They laid her on my chest and I swear, all was right with the world. I just wanted to keep her there forever. She was SO small! Dena (our oh-so-amazing midwife) took a guess and said she thought she'd be 6.5 pounds, tops. The scale, though read 3.43 kilos which comes to 7 pounds, 9 ounces... wow! I'm still questioning that one! She was 20 inches long... long and lean.
This was the easiest delivery ever! It was so quick, and once the crazy part was over and she was out, I had no pain. None! She nursed perfectly right off the bat. She let us rest pretty well that first day, as most new, sleepy babies do. It was great! We went home 24 hours later, with our sweet Kennedy, and I couldn't wait for Kate and Will to meet her! I missed them so much while I was in the hospital! They came home from Grandma and Grandpa's and met their baby sister... it was so sweet!
Life with three is going great. I think I had myself prepared for the worst... visions of three screaming children and me in a corner crying haunted my daydreams. But I can only explain the last month as feeling just the way it is supposed to be. In the short time we've had Kennedy here, it feels like she has always been ours. I cannot imagine life without her now! We are so very blessed.
I've been quite the iPhoneographer these days, as getting my camera out hasn't been top priority, but capturing photos has still been very important... here are just a few sweet memories from the first few weeks of Kennedy's life...
Thank goodness for my little iPhone... sweet memories captured quickly and perfectly! Kate and Will really love their sweet baby sister. Kate is such a precious little mama- always the first to offer to help and cannot get enough kisses onto her little sister in one day. Will is eager to hold and hug her often and is usually looking for "Baby" first thing in the morning. We've had a few little jealousy issues here and there, but as I said before, it is nothing in comparison to what I had myself prepared for!
I did Kennedy's newborn portraits at 9 days old and I am SO excited to share them... BUT! I haven't ordered our birth announcements yet, so I don't want to spoil all the fun ;-) I'll have them up soon, though!
More pics and updates to come soon... maybe even some from my real camera... maybe. If I get my act together. Don't hold me to it, though!
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