Lagging.

It's only March and I'm officially on year three of "I can't do a 365 project".  It's just not my style.  You can bound me in like that.  I need to be free range in my photography endeavors, apparently.  It's just too much pressure!  And I lose the joy.  So, I am just shooting for joy this year.  Maybe not every day.  Maybe not artsy and amazing.  But I am certain that I will capture some moments that show the joy in my life.

Most of them, obviously, are my kids.  The butter to my bread; the knees on my bees; the pajamas on the cat.  Every single day there comes a moment in the chaos where I stop and think, "Huh.  I cannot believe they are mine.  That is crazy."  Crazy in a good way: in a "how did I ever function without their faces" way.  It is crazy.

Sometimes, those moments come when they're sleeping.  Our days are out of control, and life with three small children is so full and so busy that sometimes, I'll admit, I forget to choose joy.  When they're sleeping, though... oh, when they sleep!  It can be hard for me to stop looking at them.  I cannot resist laying a kiss on them when they sleep.  They are perfection.

Sometimes my "wow, I'm lucky" moments come when they play!  I love to watch them be little, and oh, how I pray that they have no fear when it comes to staying little as long as they would like.  Today, while at my mom's house, Katie was playing with my old Barbies.  I had to giggle, because I am fairly certain I played with those Barbies WAY longer than girls play with Barbies today.  But I think that was the norm at that time.  We weren't in a huge rush to be grown ups.  I want that for my babies.  I want Katie to play Barbies for too long.  To be fearlessly childish while she is a child.

This face.  He kills me.  We have a video of him rebuking me out of "his chair" and making this face and I think we watch it at least once a day, because it makes us laugh so hard.

All too often, my "moments" arise as I realize how quickly they are growing up.  Too quickly.  I blinked, and suddenly Kennedy is only weeks away from her first birthday.  What a trip.  She is tiny- a 20th percentile peanut- but she is just the cutest, tiny little love.  Like any 11 month old, she scoots around looking for trouble and getting into things she isn't supposed to.  She usually heads for trouble, starting with a squeal of delight- like she knows its a no-no.

And lastly, my moments show up when I see them together.  I never had a sibling to compare their experience to, but watching them, I feel like I am a part of some sweet secret that only siblings can understand.  I can't "get it" 100%, but I feel like I'm learning something that I never really knew before. Does that make sense?  Maybe not, but that's the only way to describe it.  It's like they have a need for each other, no matter how much they drive each other crazy.

My sweet superheroes.  Able to steal my heart with a single smooch.

So that has been our February and March!  Just living the dream!

A Funny Faith Story

I just wrote down my little story for our church's daily Lenten devotional, so I thought I'd share it here, too, because it is one of my favorite moments from my past.  Enjoy!

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Throughout my journey as a child of God, I cannot say that there has been one, specific stand-out moment where I suddenly saw God become more than just a word.  Actually, there have been many, many instances where I've experienced our living God; speaking, acting and working in my life to remind me that He stands by me in every moment of my life.  Sometimes, they were quite moments studying His word.  Sometimes, He revealed His love to me through the comfort of a friend or family member at just the right time.

There was one moment, though, when God spoke to me in a way I never saw coming.  During college, I spent three summers working on a Christian houseboat camp on Lake Shasta called Sonshine Ministries.  I spent my summer months on the water with junior high and high school students, playing in the water, hanging out in the sunshine, ministering to the youth and worshipping our amazing God.  Every Friday morning, we would spend 3-hours in quiet time at a local park.  Just you, your Bible, something to write with.  That is it.  Sounds refreshing, right?  Well, to be honest, after a full week of water, sun early mornings and late nights, it sometimes became a time of serious temptation to lay down in the grass and sneak a nap.  

After one particularly long week, I found myself a shady spot beneath a tree.  I spread out my towel, laid down on my stomach with my Bible in front of me and began to read.  Within 30 minutes, my eyelids felt like lead curtains.  If you've felt that feeling before, you know exactly what I mean!  I can remember trying to justify my nap by thinking, "Hey, it's ok to fall asleep in the arms of Jesus, right?!"  So, I decided to open my Bible to a random spot, put my sunglasses on and pretend like I was deep into my study.  I was ready.  Ready to close my eyes- just for a little bit.  I flipped open my study Bible, without thought, and as I began to lay my head down, my eyes fell upon a verse that I will never forget.  

"Allow no sleep to your eyes, no slumber to your eyelids." Proverbs 6:4

I shot up from my seat so fast it could've made your head spin!  And then I did what I think God was doing at that moment, too- I laughed my heart out!  It was an unreal moment for me.  God, the Father of all creation, the beginning and the end… He was speaking to me!  Calling me to be present with Him in that moment.  Reminding me that He knows me, that He hears me and that He wants to be with me.  God spoke to me.

Now, as a mother of three small children, I wish I had three hours on a Friday morning to spend in the sunshine with God and His word.  But even during this busy season, God still finds His ways to speak His promises to me.  What an amazing God!