Lagging.

It's only March and I'm officially on year three of "I can't do a 365 project".  It's just not my style.  You can bound me in like that.  I need to be free range in my photography endeavors, apparently.  It's just too much pressure!  And I lose the joy.  So, I am just shooting for joy this year.  Maybe not every day.  Maybe not artsy and amazing.  But I am certain that I will capture some moments that show the joy in my life.

Most of them, obviously, are my kids.  The butter to my bread; the knees on my bees; the pajamas on the cat.  Every single day there comes a moment in the chaos where I stop and think, "Huh.  I cannot believe they are mine.  That is crazy."  Crazy in a good way: in a "how did I ever function without their faces" way.  It is crazy.

Sometimes, those moments come when they're sleeping.  Our days are out of control, and life with three small children is so full and so busy that sometimes, I'll admit, I forget to choose joy.  When they're sleeping, though... oh, when they sleep!  It can be hard for me to stop looking at them.  I cannot resist laying a kiss on them when they sleep.  They are perfection.

Sometimes my "wow, I'm lucky" moments come when they play!  I love to watch them be little, and oh, how I pray that they have no fear when it comes to staying little as long as they would like.  Today, while at my mom's house, Katie was playing with my old Barbies.  I had to giggle, because I am fairly certain I played with those Barbies WAY longer than girls play with Barbies today.  But I think that was the norm at that time.  We weren't in a huge rush to be grown ups.  I want that for my babies.  I want Katie to play Barbies for too long.  To be fearlessly childish while she is a child.

This face.  He kills me.  We have a video of him rebuking me out of "his chair" and making this face and I think we watch it at least once a day, because it makes us laugh so hard.

All too often, my "moments" arise as I realize how quickly they are growing up.  Too quickly.  I blinked, and suddenly Kennedy is only weeks away from her first birthday.  What a trip.  She is tiny- a 20th percentile peanut- but she is just the cutest, tiny little love.  Like any 11 month old, she scoots around looking for trouble and getting into things she isn't supposed to.  She usually heads for trouble, starting with a squeal of delight- like she knows its a no-no.

And lastly, my moments show up when I see them together.  I never had a sibling to compare their experience to, but watching them, I feel like I am a part of some sweet secret that only siblings can understand.  I can't "get it" 100%, but I feel like I'm learning something that I never really knew before. Does that make sense?  Maybe not, but that's the only way to describe it.  It's like they have a need for each other, no matter how much they drive each other crazy.

My sweet superheroes.  Able to steal my heart with a single smooch.

So that has been our February and March!  Just living the dream!