Oh blah di, Oh blah da.

La-la-la-la-life goes on.

I don't want this to sound cold or to make it seem as though I am totally over losing my grandpa.  Because, honestly, I am totally not over it.  Maybe not even a little over it, yet.  The waterworks still start at random times when I catch a glimpse of a picture of him; and when they played Amazing Grace at church on Sunday... done for.

However, as anyone who has lost a loved one knows, life has to go on.  In our house, there are diapers to be changed, little mouths to be fed and legos to be picked up before one of us steps on it.  Even on the day that my grandpa passed, I had Kennedy with me (since I'm the food source).  Seconds after he exhaled his final breath, there was an urgent need for a diaper to be changed (this later gave us a good laugh, since my grandpa was one of those guys who thought bodily functions were hilarious).  I didn't want to change her.  It felt disrespectful.  It felt wrong to turn my attention elsewhere.  But- the girl needed a change real bad.  I looked at my mom, wondering what I should do, and she said the words that I guess I needed to hear, "It's ok- life goes on, baby."

The truth is, God does not intend for death to be an end.  First and foremost, He never intended for there to be death, but we all know how that worked out (way to go Adam & Eve).  And while loss is painful, Promise is bigger.  It is not an end for my grandpa; it is not an end for us.  God intends for life to carry on, and my grandpa would most certainly expect me to keep on keeping on.  O death, where is your victory?  O death, where is your sting?  The victory is God's and knowing that, this little family of five continues living life... certainly with a grandpa-shaped-hole in our hearts, but living nonetheless.

Our littlest love sailed into her second month of life on June 1st, looking sweet and beautiful!

I can't even believe how fast her little life is going!  I cannot put together in my mind how two months have already passed by.

We celebrated Matt's grandma's 90th birthday with a little shindig... the kids were happy to be the "entertainment" for the afternoon, as well as to help clear the food table with their never ending appetites.

Sidenote: when you take a 4 year old, almost 2 year old and a 2-month old to a senior living community, give yourself an extra 15 minutes to get to the actual room you're headed to- those old folks love to stop you and inspect your crew (then tell you all about the ones they raised).  Fine with me... I like old folk.

Since I've been a little preoccupied, I missed our Monthly Moments and Memories for May.  I feel like the month went by in an instant, but here are a few sweet memories from May:
- Mother's Day celebration at Katie's school... I love it!
- Katie's first day of soccer!!
- Kennedy's sweet smiles
- Will's attempts at somersaults in our living room
- Family dance parties after dinner to our favorite Pandora stations
- My grandpa waking up enough to get a little joy from his third great-grandbaby
- Making our own popsicles
- Play time in the backyard

May went by in the blink of an eye.  I can't believe that this year is almost half over already!

Saying goodbye.

It still doesn't seem real.  For almost 30 years, I've always had him there.  Always been able to hear his voice when I wanted to; always been able to see his smile or hold his hand.  My grandpa was incredibly special.

There are thousands of words I could write about him, but I'll simply share here the words that I shared at his service today.

My grandfather was born in Los Angeles on March 13th, 1925, (Friday the 13th, which he often pointed out) the firstborn of George and Isabelle Watrous.  At four years old he became a big brother, welcoming his sister Gerrie to the family.  Their family remained in Los Angeles, and he graduated from George Washington High School.  Not too long after graduating from high school, he received his draft letter in the mail.  Thinking that perhaps the army wasn't the best fit, and noticing that his draft number was going to bring him in sooner rather than later, he enlisted in the U.S. Navy and was soon sent to sub-base Pearl Harbor.  Though he was stationed there after the bombing, not a December 7th passed that he didn't look me square in the eye and ask, "Do you know what today is?"  I learned.  And never forgot, just as he'd hoped.  He spent his time there working on the submarines in the harbor and doing his best to be invited into the officer's club for decent meals.

After the war, he came home and made a very natural transition by joining the Los Angeles Police Department.  I really wish that I could retell the stories that he told about his time on the vice squad, his experiences with some old Hollywood celebrities and other wacky things that he experienced… I could never tell those stories the way he told them, but I assure you- they were hilarious!  

He also came home and met, dated and fell very much in love with Kathryn Kanouff.  On August 19th, 1949, he married the woman of his dreams.  They had a camping honeymoon at Lassen National Park, where they weren't left to themselves- they were joined by friends and family.  He always laughed that his honeymoon was an excuse for vacation for everyone else, but he spoke so fondly of the time they had there and the smile on his face in the photos shows how much he truly enjoyed being around those he cared about.

He and my grandma, his Katie, raised their two children, Steve and Pam, with much love.  She was an elementary school teacher, so they spent their summers camping, fishing, taking road trips in their Vista Cruiser and building amazing family memories- always something educational, thanks to my grandma; always filled with laughs, thanks to my grandpa.  He was so proud of both of his children for their many talents and accomplishments, and he told anyone who would listen about his son and his daughter.

He remained on the LAPD for 30 years until retirement in 1977.  Wanting to stay close to his Katie and stay active, he began working part time at Hermosa View school in Hermosa Beach as a teacher's aide.  He loved the Olympics, so when Los Angeles hosted the big event in 1984, he quickly signed up to volunteer and found himself helping out at one of his favorite events, basketball.  He loved to travel and he and my grandma had a great time seeing new and different places together.

He became a grandpa in 1982, to me, and I can say, pretty confidently, that he enjoyed that role, too.  He was an amazing grandfather and put a great amount of love into caring for me and helping raise me right.  

The love of his life, Kathryn, passed away unexpectedly in 1987.  While I was only four at the time, I grew up knowing there was no question about his deep love for her.  The words he spoke when describing her, the sound in his voice when he talked about how much he missed her, and his reminder every year on their anniversary that he had no doubt they would have still been happily married on that day was a testimony to the love they shared.

Through the years he was a faithful husband, a loving father, a generous friend, a beloved brother and uncle, an amazing grandfather and a very proud great-grandfather.

While I was trying to stir up some words to say today, I kept thinking about the phrase "Live. Laugh. Love." that has become so popular on home decor items and signs now.  It kept ringing in my head, because those three words truly speak to who my grandpa was.

He lived!  He was not one to sit back and let the world pass by.  He was adventurous and curious… his time in the Navy and his 30 years on the LAPD were exciting and fulfilling for him.  Even far after his retirement, he'd still get this glint in his eye when he would retell those stories from his time on the force.  He was thrilled to be a family man and lived to take care of them.  He spent much of his time traveling to new places- all over the U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, the Baltics, Europe, and even strange destinations like Siberia (who goes to Siberia?!) and even Antarctica.  I can remember him mentioning that he wanted to take that trip to Antarctica and thinking, "Of course you do…"  That was just his kind of thing- different and exciting.  He traveled with those he loved when he could.  He loved sports, meeting new people, collecting interesting things and talking… oh how he loved talking!  He became notorious for talking the ear off of someone he'd just met.  He had a general love for life that was evident in the way he interacted with people.

He laughed!  And so did everyone around him.  My grandpa was not someone who took himself too seriously, and I have a great amount of respect for people like that.  He was witty, goofy and most definitely a smart-aleck.  His smirk was one of my favorite things about him!  He had a sharp sense of humor with a very definite cheesy side.  He was the king of the pun!  I'd always roll my eyes… but I always got a kick out of it.  In the days leading up to his passing, my mom, Steve and I sat in his room, remembering funny stories and laughing together as we remembered what a funny guy he was.  It must have started early, because I've heard my Aunt Gerrie, his sister, tell funny stories of his antics as a kid.  He was all for a good prank, too.  Steve told me the other day that when his friends would come looking for him at the house, my grandpa would come to the door- with a totally straight face- and ask, "Steve who?", just to mess with them.  This was SO like him.  Must have been one of his favorites, because he'd do it to my friends when they'd call the house.  And his laugh was so contagious- I think some of the times I laughed the hardest were times that he cracked himself up… you couldn't help but laugh along with him.  

And he loved.  He cherished his beloved wife, and missed her every day after she was gone.  He always talked about how beautiful she was and about how their love was something very special.  He took great pride in his children.  He admired Steve so very much, and while he missed him, being that Steve lives in Georgia, he was proud of Steve's accomplishments and of the man he is.  He loved his daughter in law, Christy, too and enjoyed her company.  He doted on his daughter, Pam, and would often tell people about how talented she is and how wonderfully she took care of him.  He'd tell me that he knew he didn't say it enough, but that he was so lucky to have both of them… his perfect pair- a son and a daughter.  

I may be biased, but I think I got the best blessing of all in my grandpa.  My grandpa was my guy and was so selfless in the way he took care of me.  It wasn't until I became a parent myself that I realized what a sacrifice he made for me each day… he was always willing to help me, to entertain me, to chauffeur my friends and I, to feed me and to care for me.  He did me the great honor of walking me down the aisle on my wedding day, and the smile on his face that day was something my heart will never, ever let me forget.  It was the same smile I saw the day he held his first great-grandbaby, Kathryn, then his second, William.  Even though he was nearing the end of his life when his third great-grandchild, Kennedy, was born, I saw the smile that told me he knew she was here and that he loved her so much.

My grandpa was the first man to have my heart, and he will always have a piece of it.  Not a day will go by that he will not be missed, but the memories we have of him will bring us a deep joy that will hold us over until we're reunited in God's heavenly kingdom.  I have great faith that our God is NOT in the business of breaking promises, and that he is resting in the care of the one who loves him most.

Dear 15-year-old Me: What I Wish I'd Known

When I married Matt, not only did I gain an amazing friend and spouse; I gained a new family.  His family became mine, too, and his beautiful niece is a part of that package.  She spends a lot of time with us and I adore the heck out of her.  Maybe it's because the youth director in me relates really well with teenagers.  Maybe it's because she is an amazing big cousin to my littles.  Or maybe it's simply because she is an awesome girl.  Yep- clearly, that is it.

Our beautiful Madison just turned 15 this week.  When I think back to being 15, now that I am months away from double that, there are SO many things I wish I'd known.  There are so many things that I wish I had taken to heart; so many things that if I'd been able to view my teenage years through the lens of my 30 year old self, I wouldn't have beaten myself up about or taken so seriously.  In light of these thoughts churning through my head due to Madison's 15th birthday, I present to you a letter to my 15-year-old self.

Dear 15-year-old Alison,
Hi.  This is you.  Future you.  What?!  So creepy, right?  That's ok.  15 years from now you'll think this is a great idea.


Here's the thing... the girl that you are now is only a tiny piece of the puzzle that God is constantly snapping together.  Each day, a new piece is being added.  You don't do many puzzles, and you never have, but if you were to pick up one of those 1000 piece monsters and really examine each piece, there is something to be learned in every image on every piece.  Some pieces are really beautiful all on their own- colors, textures, and all things pleasing to the eye.  Some aren't that exciting... plain, boring.  Some may even be down right ugly... awkward angles.  Unappealing colors.  But they're necessary to make the whole puzzle complete.  Every piece is important.


If you haven't picked up on it yet, that is a metaphor for your life.  Each day, each moment, is an important piece of who you are now and who you will become.  You're going to have some amazing times coming your way.  You're going to get your heartbroken, too.  And that's ok... that is what life is about.  I could write a novel to you, but instead, I'm just going to give you this little list of things I want you to know.  From almost 30-year-old you... trust me; I know a lot about you.  And I've been there.  No- literally, I have.


* Those tears you shed in the dressing rooms of Wet Seal and whatnot are so not worth it.  You're beautiful just the way you are.  
* You'll be so glad you decided you were ready to be baptized.  It'll be the beginning of something really, really big.
* Mom is totally not overprotective!  You are going to be doubly crazy over the safety of your kids one day!  
* You get a husband and kids, so stop being so worried about your future.  God's got this one under control.  
* I'm proud of you for sticking to your guns and not getting sucked into drugs or alcohol.  You're going to make some really good decisions when it comes to friendships in the years to come and they'll be the ones you keep forever.
* Don't be mean to that girl during your junior year.  You're going to really, really regret it later.
* Look at your computer and giggle... in a few years you'll have a phone thats way cooler than that.  Weird, right?
* 30 isn't old.
* Be confident in who you are... turns out, you're a pretty cool kid.
* Don't wear the leopard print cowboy hat to senior prom.  Just.don't.do.it.
* That said, don't stress so much about your clothes.  You're never going to be fashionable, but that isn't why the people who stick with you are around anyway.  The friends that will stand outside the door the night you deliver your first baby couldn't care less about that stuff.  They love you for you.
* Write stuff down... 30 year old you forgot stuff!  That's why I'm writing stuff down now... so that 60 year old us can look back and laugh at 30 year old us.
* Stop sassing your grandpa.  Kiss him every day and tell him you love him.  You cannot possibly grasp how much he has loved you and done for you {and will do for you}.  In 15 years, you'll be sitting at his bedside, watching him prepare to leave this world, crying your heart out and wishing you'd never taken a tone with him.  You'll have some scares along the way, but none of them will have hurt the way this one will.
* You're not going to "get" the extent of Mom and Grandpa's love until you see Kathryn's face.  Who's Kathryn?  Oh, you'll see.
* The man you marry will teach you a lot about yourself... and those lessons will be what prompt you to write imaginary letters to a younger version of you.
* Don't worry- you're not crazy.  You've got it pretty together, in fact.
* In light of that, enjoy this time in your life... despite how it feels right now, it's just an instant in your life.  A tiny, tiny piece of that puzzle I was talking about.  You were talking about...?  We were talking about...?  This is getting confusing.


All that said, enjoy every moment.  Every memory.  Don't worry so much.  Have faith in yourself and dive head first into God and the community of his followers.  Your puzzle is going to be breath-taking when it is done... so live with JOY!


Love,
29-year-old you.

Life Lessons: You learn something new everyday.

"I don't think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday."  ~Abraham Lincoln


True that, Abe.  Wise words.


I love overhearing conversations between Kate and her daddy.  These conversations can cover a myriad of topics, anywhere from boxing to the intricacies of fishing (I dare you to ask Kate what you have to do to have fish available for dinner) to who knows what else.  The other day their conversation came around to learning and the good ol' "you learn something new everyday" got thrown out there.  He asked her what she had learned that day... after some hmms and umms, she told him all about the things she'd done at school.  Then she did something that I absolutely loved- she turned the tables and asked him what he had learned that day.


It got my mind spinning!  What about me?  If she'd asked me, what would I have said?  I do, truly, believe that we should all be learning something new and growing everyday... but if we're not consciously looking for it, we may just be missing the multitude of lessons presented to us each day.


One example, albeit, a silly one: I learned why baby soap bottles say Keep Out of Reach of Children.  No, no one in our house downed a bottle of Aveeno.  But Kate did decide to dump the entire bottle into the empty bathtub.  When bathtime rolled around, I still did not know this (she is so sneaky) and was very surprised when the tub started to fill with mass amounts of bubbles.  That's when she fessed up.  Crazy girl.  So, super fun bubble bath time ensued.  It was, of course, a photo moment but this is the internet and there are creepers around every corner... so I'll keep those just for us.


We learned too, that a crib is no match for a toddler.  While Kate never dared to scale the sides of her crib, her brother took to the challenge like a champ.  Nothing like sitting peacefully, knowing your son is happily stowed in the safety of his cage bed, only to hear a loud thud followed by the thunderous 'pitter-patter' of chubby feet.  Sigh.  Now what?!  

I learned, too, that my sweet Kate is as emotionally delicate as her mommy.  Now that Kennedy is 6-weeks old, the older two have figured out that this baby, is in fact, here to stay.  Kate is now finding herself getting less attention than she was used to, which has led us to such tear-inducing statements as, "You love Kennedy more than you love me," and "Mommy, you always hold the baby sister.  You never hold me or Will."  Guess they haven't hit that topic of avoiding "always" and "never" in pre-school, huh?  I kid.  But honestly, these little statements shattered me.  Have I been ignoring her?  I didn't think so... Have I left her feeling less than the amazing, smart, funny, beautiful girl that she is?  What have I done!?

Her words have not fallen on deaf ears- I am trying so hard to dedicate my baby-free-arm time to making her feel as special and important as she truly is.  


Truth is, it's really hard to spread yourself between three little people who all require your attention every moment of every day.  It is chaos in our home, but a good chaos.  A busy, fun, chaotic place.


Here a few other random lessons learned:
* Kids grow fast: just when you think something is out of reach... it's not.
* If you lay a 6-week old on a surface that you don't want them to spit up/ poop on, then they will spit up AND poop on it.
* The train at Disneyland is an ideal place to nurse a baby when you have two other kids who won't stay still if you try to sit somewhere quiet.
* No matter how much pink you put on your baby, old people will still call her "he".


Before I forget, as promised, here is a little recap of Easter 2012...
Kennedy had her one week birthday on Easter day.  We didn't try to brave the crowds at church, since she was still so little, so we enjoyed our morning at home with some bunny pancakes and hunting for eggs.

Our first picture as a family of five!  

Anyway.  That is that.  And I leave you with this {predictable} question...


...what did you learn today?

Joy in this place.

“Laughter is the sound of the soul dancing. My soul probably looks like Fred Astaire.” - Jarod Kintz

Color me cheesy- I was searching for a quote about laughter for our little coffee table memory book, and stumbled on this one. And.I.love.it. As a family who enjoys an evening dance party before bedtime, this just spoke perfectly to what our home is like! Though I am partial to Gene Kelly over Fred Astaire... just a personal preference. I mean, have you seen Singin' in the Rain, my favorite movie of all time? But I digress...

I, like any wife and mom, think that the people in my home have the best laughs ever. When Matt gets to laughing, it is completely impossible for me not to laugh. Even if I don't want to laugh; even if I should be mad... if he is laughing his real deal laugh then I'm done. I cannot not laugh, too. It's kind of the same situation when the littles laugh. There are times when I really should keep a straight face to make a point to my kids... but they're so darn funny!  Here's a good example for you.  With all of the kids, I take a photo of them starting at one month old, each month, with the same stuffed animal to show their growth until their first birthday.  So for Kennedy's first month pic, I got her all situated on the couch with her kitty Bla-Bla doll and had Will at my side to grab some quick snaps.  Kate and Matt had gone to the baseball game, so it was just the little kids and I.

Adorable, right?  Of course.  As I'm behind my camera, snapping away (because you always have to take about 23 shots to ensure you have the right one...), I notice a blaring red irregularity on my dining room table.

Trouble maker, indeed.  I've never seen him climb on the dining room table, so that was a fun first.  I suppose at this point, a good mommy would calmly, but swiftly get up and move toward their son, who may be in peril.  This mommy's reaction?  Laugh, then capture memory in a photo.  Then hustle over to the table to retrieve trouble-maker son.  This is just reality in our house.  Fortunately, he was very intrigued by my lens cap and wasn't squirrling around up there.  Unfortunately, he now knows how to get back up there to get at the things he is interested in.  Ah well.

If you could hear the sound of my childrens' laughs, I'm fairly confident that you'd agree: they have the best laughs ever.  When Kate really gets going, it brings me to tears of laughter... she has this super genuine belly laugh that exudes joy.  Not just happiness: joy.  Will, though he is not quite two, has a very boyish laugh.  It's raspy and hearty... and I cannot help but think that maybe he'll be one of those guys whose laughter is so sincere that he actually slaps his knee or, Lord help me, bangs his fist on the table in a fit of laughter, just like my great Uncle Lou used to do (which used to embarrass me greatly, but I have grown to admire for some strange reason).  Obviously, I cannot wait to hear Kennedy's sweet laugh in the months to come... easily one of my favorite milestones in the first year!

While I am enjoying this little blog update, there is another lovely sound coming from upstairs- that mellow, little newborn cry.  Well, heading toward not-so-mellow actually.  I realized I never posted about Easter... so I'll add those next when the children are nestled all snug in their beds.  Someday.

Monthly moments and memories: April.

At a point with Kate, I remembered to write down a list of tiny little things that I want to remember forever at a certain point in her life.  Things that seem so fleeting.  It's probably something I should do at least monthly, so here goes with a few moments and memories from the last month:

- Will's 4pm meltdowns... exhausting, yes, but slightly hilarious?  Definitely.
- The little "surprised" face Kennedy makes; funny every time.

- How quiet newborn cries are.
- How not quiet toddler cries are.
- The smell of Pampers Swaddlers (clean ones, thank you very much).
- Kate wrapping her hair around her hand and singing the healing song from Tangled.
- Dress up.
- Kennedy trying to latch on to Will's cheek mid hug and leaving a red mark (Will's first hickey?)
- Will's chubby feet.
- Kate learning to read so many words!
- Hearing Kate's favorite and least favorite moments from her day.

That last one is something I've started with her.  Every night we read a book before bed, then I ask her to tell me her favorite thing from the day, then her least favorite thing.  I recently read an article about listening to your kids and really focusing on what they say, then responding to them in a way that they know you're listening.  The article really resonated with me- if they know, from a very young age, that mommy and daddy really listen, that builds up a knowledge that they can be heard and can count on their parents to listen when they need someone to talk to.  And I really love hearing her answers!  More often than not, her "favorite thing" is something ridiculously sweet, like "spending time with my family" or "right now talking with you".  Are you kidding me!?  Melt.my.heart.  Her least favorite thing rarely gets an answer... she usually says something to the effect of "Nothing... I had a good day."  This makes me happy as a mommy for two reasons: 1) the times that I have to put her in time out or run out of patience don't seem to be scarring her for life and 2) my girl is very content with what she has.  I know every parent believes that their child will do big things, but I'm so confident that Kate has such a caring, sweet spirit, and an outgoing personality... she is going to be a big deal.  Just saying.

The Grand Finale: Welcome to the World, Baby Girl!

In the final weeks of pregnancy, every little twinge feels like it *could* be the start of something big!  You just never know.  At least, that is what people said when I was almost a week overdue with Katie.  With Will, I had a scheduled induction the day before his due date, so the waiting was a little less stressful.  This time around, the wait was kind of fun!  It was our first time having a baby with Kaiser health care, and Kaiser will not even talk induction until you've passed your due date.  So with an appointment set for April 5th, we knew we wouldn't be picking a birthdate until after that.  Would we make it to the 5th?  Would she come on her own?  We just didn't know!  Matt's poor parent's dealt with the stress, too, as they were the ones on call to come stay with Kate and Will when the time came.  In all honesty, I expected to wait.  I figured we'd get to our appointment on the 5th.  Beyond Braxton Hicks contractions, I wasn't really feeling any indication that I'd go into labor any time soon.  On March 31st, we spent some time at Matt's parents' house then went out for dinner.  When we left the restaurant, we joked that maybe they'd get a call that night.  I wasn't serious.

I'd gone to bed around 11pm that night.  It was April 1st at 1:50am on our clock when I woke up to what I thought might be a contraction.  It was what woke me up, so I wasn't entirely sure if I'd really had a contraction or what... I was still sleepy and unsure, so I just lay there waiting to see if another one would come.  And sure enough, I felt that familiar crampy feeling.  While it'd been a while since the last time I'd had contractions (about 20 months as a matter of fact), I remembered the feeling instantly.  Yep- those are contractions!  Not that contractions necessarily always mean that delivery is immanent, but still, it was promising.  So I laid around for a while... I got up and walked around... I went downstairs and grabbed a glass of water.  But still, they came about every 5 minutes, at about 1 minute in length each time.  I decided to wake Matt up and let him know that the business was beginning.  I called Kaiser and told them the news- 5 minutes apart, 1 minute in length, 3rd baby.  Told her which location we would be delivering at and that was that- she said come on in.  Matt called his parents and I hopped in the shower for one final clean up before go time.

If there is anything I have learned about having a baby, it is this: expect the unexpected.  I got out of the shower, ready to throw my things in my bag and head to Irvine.  Matt; however, had just received a call from Kaiser telling us that Irvine was full.  Full?!  Yes, full.  We'd have to go to Anaheim Hills to have the baby.  Now, it probably doesn't seem like a huge deal- but at 2:30am, when you're in labor and you've been expecting to deliver your baby at the hospital that you've been used to for the last 8 months- trust me, it becomes a big deal.  Not to Matt... just to me.  I was pissed!  Oh yeah, and the exit off the freeway is closed, so we'll have to go the back way.  Well, super.  Matt's parents arrived and we headed up to Anaheim.  It felt so far away- especially as we drove right past the Irvine location where we should have been!!!  I was bitter.  Then the bumpy roads and stop signs we encountered on the "back way"... strike two.

We got to L&D triage and the nurses were nice.  Sooo nice!  I finally started to relax about the location change at this point.  I got all hooked up to the monitors and the waiting began.

 

A midwife came in and told me that by total coincidence my midwife Dena, who had been seeing me through my entire pregnancy, was going to be at the Anaheim location that day!  That sealed the deal for me and I was officially over myself and perfectly happy being where I was.  I was 5cm dilated and moving along just fine, so I was officially admitted at that point and a little while later was moved over to our delivery room.  Being GBS positive, I had to have a penicillin dose every 4 hours through the IV, so they started that, started the saline and then the waiting continued.  The contractions began slowing down, so eventually my midwife, Dena, came in and said she'd recommend starting pitocin to get things moving along.  Before doing that, we went ahead and got the epidural process started so that *just in case* the pitocin kicked in quickly, I'd be ready!  I got my epi around 10:45am... that part is always yucky to me. Even though I firmly believe that epidurals are a gift straight from God, I just hate the feeling of it being put in.  Nonetheless, it was pretty easy and I could feel the tingly toes start pretty quickly- hooray!

Shortly after the epidural, the pitocin was started and contractions started picking up again.  Matt stepped out to get my mom and at that point I felt my water break.  Matt and my mom were back by the time the nurse came to check on me (I'd called her when I felt the water break).  The nurse who came was not my regular nurse (she'd gone to lunch) and said, "Eh, maybe your water broke..." but didn't seem to believe me.  I've felt that feeling twice before in my life- it's fairly unmistakeable.

My mom and I were just sitting there chatting away when suddenly I was feeling some pretty intense pain with each contraction.  It honestly happened so fast.  I went from shooting the breeze with my mom to having to stop and concentrate on breathing through the pain.  I pushed the happy button for the epi meds, but it wasn't really providing relief anymore.  I thought to myself, "Oh crap, this is going to suck."  We got the nurse in and she thought I might be getting close, but thought she'd wait and let the midwives get in there and check me.  Before they could get there, I was feeling a ton of pressure, which apparently told her that things were moving along.  We hustled my mom out to the waiting room at that point.  She checked me and I was 10cm and ready to get the party started.  Dena, my midwife, and a new midwife arrived just in time to turn on those weird lights they use, slip on shoe covers (this made me laugh at that point) and get in position.

The pushing was easy peasy.  One push to move her down.  Second push and her head was out.  Third push and our sweet Kennedy Eloise came screaming into the world at 2:25pm.  She wasted no time letting us know how she felt about this traumatic event... girl has a set of lungs!  She was so completely perfect!  Her tiny nose, her long fingers and toes... precious!  They laid her on my chest and I swear, all was right with the world.  I just wanted to keep her there forever.  She was SO small!  Dena (our oh-so-amazing midwife) took a guess and said she thought she'd be 6.5 pounds, tops.  The scale, though read 3.43 kilos which comes to 7 pounds, 9 ounces... wow!  I'm still questioning that one!  She was 20 inches long... long and lean.

 

This was the easiest delivery ever!  It was so quick, and once the crazy part was over and she was out, I had no pain.  None!  She nursed perfectly right off the bat.  She let us rest pretty well that first day, as most new, sleepy babies do.  It was great!  We went home 24 hours later, with our sweet Kennedy, and I couldn't wait for Kate and Will to meet her!  I missed them so much while I was in the hospital!  They came home from Grandma and Grandpa's and met their baby sister... it was so sweet!

Life with three is going great.  I think I had myself prepared for the worst... visions of three screaming children and me in a corner crying haunted my daydreams.  But I can only explain the last month as feeling just the way it is supposed to be.  In the short time we've had Kennedy here, it feels like she has always been ours.  I cannot imagine life without her now!  We are so very blessed.

I've been quite the iPhoneographer these days, as getting my camera out hasn't been top priority, but capturing photos has still been very important... here are just a few sweet memories from the first few weeks of Kennedy's life...

  

 

Thank goodness for my little iPhone... sweet memories captured quickly and perfectly!  Kate and Will really love their sweet baby sister.  Kate is such a precious little mama- always the first to offer to help and cannot get enough kisses onto her little sister in one day.  Will is eager to hold and hug her often and is usually looking for "Baby" first thing in the morning.  We've had a few little jealousy issues here and there, but as I said before, it is nothing in comparison to what I had myself prepared for!

I did Kennedy's newborn portraits at 9 days old and I am SO excited to share them... BUT!  I haven't ordered our birth announcements yet, so I don't want to spoil all the fun ;-)  I'll have them up soon, though!  

More pics and updates to come soon... maybe even some from my real camera... maybe.  If I get my act together.  Don't hold me to it, though!